Co-Parenting With An Abuser
Season 2 has been hitting hard. I've gotten real personal with y'all and October is right around the corner so you already know I'm working on coordinating events with the team. Just a reminder that if you haven't heard it today, you are amazing. I came across a quote that said "nobody hustles harder than a single mother" and honestly, it's the truth. The respect I have for single months is top tier and seeing how women never stop their grind, with or without a man, is just giving off goddess vibes. To the beautiful mothers out there, I commend you.
A couple of months ago, I did a poll asking what topics do you want me to cover on The Beast Within and one of the biggest ones was how to deal with raising a child with the abuser. I was not able to speak from experience regarding this very topic but I have two of my administrators ready and willing to share their own stories in hopes that it will help with yours. Tara and Michele opened up about their own lives and break it down from how to navigate the court system when it comes to custody battles to learning how to deal with divorce and raising their children. Being a mother is not easy, let alone throwing in domestic violence.
I hope this episode helps with whoever needs it and if you know someone who needs it, please share it with them. It will make their lives easier hearing the advice from women who understand. Please take a listen and spread the word. October is domestic violence month is a few days away. Do better for not only yourself but for your kid(s). Please be sure to subscribe! We are available on Apple and Spotify!
If anybody would like to donate to the cause, we are currently in the process of coordinating events and self defense classes. Our paypal is firstname.lastname@example.org and cash app is $madeinvietnammm ! All donations are appreciated in helping us make a difference. I would like to personally give a huge thank you to The Bakery Genetics for their generous donation of $500. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have come across such beautiful people who are willing to help survivors heal and move forward with their lives after abuse. Stronger and wiser - is the end goal everyday.
Latina Frass shared her testimony as to why raising money for domestic violence awareness was a top priority for her.
"This raffle was so important to me because I have been in a Domestic Violence Advocate for years. I have been abused. I understand there needs to be more awareness of domestic violence. Many people don't even understand what is considered DV. At one time, I was one of those people too.
When I was being abused, I never recognized the beginning signs and stayed much longer than I should have. I honestly thought if a man wasn't beating me then it wasn't abuse and it was just a bad relationship. It was what I inadvertently learned at a young age. I guess I was somewhat groomed for it due to the culture I was raised in. In my later years when I asked my own mother why she had allowed herself to be treated the way she had her whole marriage, she said "I was raised in a different time, a different generation and what is considered abuse now was just accepted back then and was a part of marriage. You just kept quiet and dealt with it.' I was devastated when she told me that.
Ironically, I ended up in a worse relationship to the point I considered taking my life. I was pregnant at the time. My fear of thinking my girls would have no one to take care of them is what kept me alive. I mean emotionally and physically.
I lied fled from my abuser/children's father and moved back home. He found me easily and that's when I ended up in a women's DV shelter. I lived there for 6 months with my 3 children. Two who had disabilities which made the transition even more challenging. It took me months of counseling to realize how abusive my ex really had been. I always justified him not being so bad because he didn't beat me and because he never turned his abuse on my kids. I later found out he was abusing children when I was at work. I still carry that guilt because I didn't know to protect them.
It's been years since that relationship and I am still healing. My girls are still healing and I'm thankful my son doesn't remember anything due to him being just a toddler. I want every male and female to be cognitive of how damaging abuse is. I want my kids to understand that it's not okay to be abused or be an abuser. No one deserved to be abused ever.
Leaving my abuser was the best decision I ever made for my children and myself. Even though we are still healing, we are healing. Since I left him, I was able to graduate school, get more professional licenses, start 3 separate businesses, meet the 'love of my life' and receive so many more blessings. Please know there is life after abuse and it does not define you."